i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
