well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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