My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
