Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
