I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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