He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
