So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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