I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize