Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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