is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
