GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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