i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
