My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
