You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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