im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
