I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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