don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize