That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
