Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
