I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
