You can't special order awesome
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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