He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
