You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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