what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
