god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
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I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
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I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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