I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
