Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
