I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
