I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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