The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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