hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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