Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
