i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You dont lie about slip and slides
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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