I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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