it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
