I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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