fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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