The best revenge is premature balding
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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