We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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