we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
