my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
