omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
