Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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