this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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