just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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