I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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