1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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