Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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