She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
this will be a night to untag.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
