Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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