Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
