my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
