may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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