Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
