my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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