Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
