you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think my moral compass just broke
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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